extractedIronManAnthony “Tony” Stark is a brilliant engineer and billionaire. At the age of 15 Tony entered the undergraduate electrical engineering program at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), and graduated with two master’s degrees by age 19, earning him the nickname “Doogie” from all of his peers. At MIT, Tony also discovered a taste for Scotch, Gin, and Vodka. Tony went to work for Stark Industries, but showed more interest in living a reckless playboy lifestyle than using his engineering skills.

It is commonly believed that a piece of shrapnel from a land mine was responsible for Tony’s injury to his chest and heart. Not True. He was actually attending a Micro Brewery convention in Opelika, Alabama when a beer keg that had been filled with too much yeast violently exploded and killed 237 people, with Tony being the only survivor.  Doctor’s speculate that the only reason Tony survived was that he was so inebriated at the time of the explosion; his body naturally went limp when the shrapnel pierced his chest. As he awoke and
found himself bleeding out and dehydrated, Tony knew his only chance to survive until help arrived was to build a device that would magnetically stop the shrapnel from reaching his heart, but numb the pain and give him a nice buzz in the mean time, so he began immediately building the “Iron Keg” chest plate. Tony would later see that a suit of armor was much easier to move around in than wearing a giant beer keg, so he would later modify his chest plate into his current battle suit seen today. Tony worked to improve the Iron Man armor and claimed Iron Man was Tony Stark’s personal bodyguard to disguise his identity.
This only lasted a short while seeing that the general public never believed this story. This was due to the fact that Tony and Iron Man were never in the same place at the same time. And Iron Man often smelled of the same brand of Scotch as Tony, which no bodyguard can afford.

Tony played a dual-role with the formation of the Avengers both as the
sponsor and, as Iron Man, as a founding member along with Thor, Ant-Man (Henry
Pym), the Wasp (Janet van Dyne), and the Hulk. While pursuing Namor the
Sub-Mariner on a paternity suit and tax evasion, Iron Man came across the
comatose body of Captain America (Steve Rogers), the famous World War II super
hero, preserved on ice. Seeing the opportunity to absorb a billion dollar super
soldier in to the employment of Stark Industries. With pen in frozen hand, Tony
quickly signed Rogers name to a lifetime employment contract at 1942 wages,
moments before he awoke. Revived, Captain America joined the Avengers and
became a teammate and friend to Tony, but even more importantly a substantial
tax right off.

Now, whenever there is an international threat large or small, Tony is ever
ready and ever vigilant to assemble earth’s mightiest heroes to attack the
problem and save the world. All in a day’s work, while enjoying the comfort of
a stiff cocktail.

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Billionaire weapons manufacturer and leader of the Avengers, he’s known more for his appreciation of a nice Scotch than suiting up as Iron Man with the Avengers.

  • Name: Anthony “Tony” Stark
  • Birthday: March 15th
  • Education: MIT
  • Major: Electrical Engineering
  • Favorite Color: Scotch
  • Favorite Book: The Craft of the Cocktail: Everything You Need to Know to be a Master Bartender
  • Favorite Movie: Cocktail, Leaving Las Vegas, The Hangover, Arthur
  • Favorite Food: Bourbon Chicken
  • Favorite Quote: “I am Iron Man”


*Iron Man is played by Brian Godleski

1 Comment

  • Al August 12, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    Bourbon chicken without the chicken, right?


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